Third hand

"No one has seen the third hand
Born from the center near the heart ... "
(From the poem "Mystique" by David Ignatow)

I write it explicitly often, but I had the experience of changing my life a few years ago. When I was in law school, I was depressed terribly. Since I appreciated, I have recovered, but I have not left the gift of that experience. In fact, they convey my life every single day, a constant source of inspiration, strength, and wisdom.

One of the greatest gifts of that experience was being forced into a helpless place in the dark. I could no longer rely on my normal fairly generous duty and soldier with willingness and ability. Life was very wrong for me.

I feel that my throat is firmly awake firmly, as one of the best ways to explain that experience, and still as I feel sad from long distances. Lightly dimmed slowly, I was slowly breathless. I had not let my soul breathe, so its flame slowly but surely was dead.

I had the best intention, or I thought so. I was anxious to paint and write, but since I had no background or education of art, it was not actually drawn or written (I was also afraid, so my soul with perfectionism The challenge was to be able to do, in fact it was to commit ourselves to what is pretty good with finance and law. I will do it and get the job of giving me the opportunity to indulge in desires from within after weekends and work.

Furthermore I went to law school and discovered that I was consuming it all. (As a wonderful mentor I frequently quoted "Law is a jealous lover" often) I will take the back seat for a very long time, really strong with me. I was a decent legal student with truly brilliant spots, but not as brilliant as some people, or as passionate as any other person. I had to compensate for extra work and extra long time for the glow and passion (And at least every student in the Faculty of Law knows that it is a waste of work and a long time). I soon became tired from the mind, body and spirit.

But I did not want to give up or give up. I did not want to become a stuttering person. My ego stopped something either because I did not realize the choice actually being done here, either quitting the law or quitting myself. I was choosing to quit on my own by thinking that I was going to be absorbed in really calling corners or weekends in my life. I did not believe that me like me - the artistic, talented communicator, intuitive and considerate - the god who did it like me did not believe it to give me God I came to believe that I had quit. The way to support my physical life of this world to the gift of my soul.

Fortunately, at this point, my soul solved the problem with my own hands and I was my MO in the past but I could not escape by just working or working harder Physical, spiritual, emotional, well done. Now, any attempt that tried it backwards me into a dark depression of despair and helplessness. Believe me, I was not depressed. It was a misery and a terrible time. I tried my best not to get depressed and I was convinced that most people I knew at the time came back from the outside. I believed that I could get better if I accomplished it and graduated and I got a job. However, I have not convinced my soul and it has become difficult to get out of bed. And I had to try something else.

I think that this remembered when the poem "David Ignatow" wrote about the "third hand" in the poem "Mystique".

"...which one
Preparation on the right or left
Cook for mouth,
What Egypt gives,
And the third hand skillfully
If it is not visible the object will be changed
Our hunger and dedication "

My right hand and left hand were doing reasonable work in the world. The world needs a good lawyer. I know a couple of things, they are doing great service to their customers. Lincoln was a lawyer. Gandhi was also a lawyer. I wanted to function as a responsible adult, to provide myself and to contribute to my family and my community.

But as I could not see it, it could potentially work for me to do it as an artist, writer, or life coach. Since I wanted to keep it secret, I thought that Martha Beck would despair my pit - I would pick up the problem with my own hands. I do not trust my soul, that is God, so I care for such secular details and I did not want to be a starvator. I do not want to sacrifice the success I thought it was enjoyed as a lawyer and I would not like to end the respect and respect of the people who always thought of great great things in my life - such as lawyers, senators, governors like.

My soul learned that my right hand and left hand were really helping my ego and my fear, so even if I could not skill skillfully, I would keep on living where my worth lost, My true desire and deep longing.

This surrender exercise is really trying to release my desire to control ideas, expectations, and results. And please allow what goes in and listens to it and is going to follow it. But it is very worthwhile. It is what I practice everyday because I know that my life is lively and everything is technically colorful, rich and meaningful. I know that from this place I can give more to the world. And this is my most serious hunger.

If I begin to ignore it, the fact that the third hand is too familiar to rely on backdoor, mystery, swack down to arouse my attention and bring me back There is also.

Paintings, especially the way my paintings last year painted, is to trust my instincts, my soul, God, and other good and invisible ones, for the practice of this surrender and trust It was a big catalyst I seem to have taken a lot of difficult, confusing and mysterious detours on the way there.

For example, remember the picture that I did in the past summer. I want to draw a picture in the same way as I start teaching yoga practice, teaching clients, living my day by prayer and intention. On a particular day I painted this particular picture, I felt very lost and missed. We trust that we are not really alone, but occasionally our level of consciousness to our connection only fluctuates, at that time I will put that belief in my mind in my mind I could not move it.

Having the picture in something for someone has a sense of being surrounded by love, praying and intending to cherish them, worship them, surround them with people who "carry their backs" It started. If you had a friend who knew what you thought of hanging the moon, you really saw and got you You crossed the burning desert and you have not loved you intensely yet I thought it was natural, but I was glad that I had the presence I was longing for that day.

And I also want to keep all the paintings as I think it should. What goes on and what needs to happen, I have finished praying, it goes.

Now I can inform all my lovers, but here (bye, my skeptical, discreet reader! Thank you for hanging around for so long!) I draw a picture Beginning, I entered the flow, I really did not retreat until a good time passed. When I took a break, I went back and looked at the picture carefully, all the hair of my body was over. I ran out of the room and the upper floor to my bedroom. Late, late at night, my husband and son had a quick sleep, so I stuck into the bed and covered my head.

Did I go back to the room and count the numbers and heads apparently emerging from random paintings I have never seen before I finished it (I think there were at least eight) until daylight gone. I admit that it still surprised me a little, but I remembered that I was seeking a demonstration of a loving existence. In the light, I may say that nothing is threatened here, but there was something. It was a physical appearance of ordinary invisible things that I had become very unpleasant.

This is a good thing for me to remember. What I admire really may have the potential to make me very uncomfortable. I may want to obey my heart, the whispers of the soul, or the will of God ... But if I am honest, sometimes it also fears me. I think the reason for this is multifaceted, but often I think that I am not accustomed to the many different powers that work in our lives. It makes us feel uncontrollable. It actually says it threatens the illusion we have about security and control.

If you were like me, grasp the mask and hug you to hide your real face, hiding behind the mask of the person you thought you bought, and instead of you, To truly release you, I truly believe.

Please live your life from the center, by your heart ...